From my previous entry, ada aku cerita pasal mamat ni yang dok kata “I tak bahagia dengan perkahwinan I”. Aku pun google signs of unhappy marriage and bumped into this list. Boleh juga buat panduan kepada semua. Setidak-tidaknya boleh kesan dari awal dan ambil tindakan segera. Again, sekadar panduan je ye…
How to know that your Marriage is in Trouble
Not all marriages are made in heaven. A marriage in order to be a happy one takes a considerable amount of work. There are many signs to an unhappy marriage. I am giving below some of those signs. If either or any of the partners is behaving in such a manner then the chances are that it is an unhappy or failing marriage.
1) Frequent Arguments and Disrespect: If there are frequent disagreements between the husband and wife it is a definite sign that all is not well in the marriage. Abusive behavior and disrespect is another sign of an unhappy marriage. Some couples even resort to constant name calling, hurtful or vulgar behavior and bringing up issues that will purposely hurt the other person. Some not only curse each other they even throw objects at each other or get violent with each other. This can also be devastating for children of the unhappy couple if any.
2) Lack of Communication: If either or one partner has stopped communicating like he or she used to earlier that is a sure sign of unhappiness in marriage. While some couples choose to get into arguments or verbal lashing some couples stop communicating and keep a distance with each other. They stop sharing their thoughts and feelings with each other and stop consulting each other about home or personal issues. Couples in unhappy marriages often busy themselves with distractions to avoid the real issues.
3) Lies or keeping Secrets from one another: When the Marriage is on rocks many couples become too secretive about their activities. For instance if the spouse leaves the room frequently for private phone conversations or switch of the phone suddenly when the partner appears in front of them it is a sign to be beware. A happy couple often talks about their plans for the future. One of the signs of an unhappy marriage is that the spouse no longer shares hopes and dreams of future with you.
4) Not Spending time with you: If your spouse suddenly has started to spend more time with friends regularly than they spend time with you it is a sign of troubles in your relationship. Your spouse may even find excuses to stay at work late just to avoid being with you. Frequent trips made by one party or both, extended working hours, more time spent separately with friends and general avoidance of the other party can all be signs of an unhappy marriage. If the Spouse suddenly develops new hobbies and prefers to spend time alone without your company it is one of the signs that your marriage is in trouble. Such a person may also display Escapism.
5) Lack of Intimacy and Affection: If either of the parties do not display signs of love or affection like hugs, kiss or compliments then the marriage has lost its spark. Many times the spouse may also indulge in comparing you with others or praising others in front of you. Many times even the hand holding is gone, the pats on the back are absent and they usually won’t be sleeping in the same bed also. Lack of intimacy is one of the most common indicators of lack of emotional connection. Though the honeymoon phase may not last forever a total disinterest or lack of intimacy with spouse may be a sign of marital discontent.
6) Drinking or Drug usage: Some people tend to think they can drown their problems by drinking or using drugs. If such a habit has started suddenly that may be a sign of an unhappy marriage.
7) Partner Infidelity : Adultery or Partner Infidelity is a clear sign that the marriage is an unhappy one. When such a thing happens it is very hard to recover from an affair because once trust is gone it does not come back fast. There are instances when the marriage is under false pretenses (like the husband is not a Gay when he is one). A cheating husband or wife is a clear indication of an unhappy marriage.Sometimes one may make a sudden change in appearance or be secretive of their phone calls and may indulge in huge credit card spending when they are cheating on their spouses apart from spending time away from home.
8) Body language: The Body language between the husband and wife can also point if the marriage is a happy or unhappy one. Bad body language and behavior between spouses can be indication of an unhappy marriage.
9) Selfishness and not caring for the needs of the Spouse: When marriage is unhappy it will appear that one spouse will be unselfish with his or her feelings. He or she will not care that their activities bother the other person or care for the other persons needs.
10) Depression and Loneliness: If any of the partners is suffering from any form of depression or is exhibiting signs of depression is clear that he or she is unhappy. He or she will get even unhappy with the marriage if they feel alone in this suffering.Some may even have stronger feelings of regret regarding a choice of partner. Many may lose or put weight in such a condition because they either eat more or eat less.
11) Falling out of Love or having unrealistic Expectations: Many enter into marriage with unrealistic expectations and when they do not get fulfilled the marriage becomes an unhappy one. There are also instances where the couple who was in love fall out of love and lose interest in the spouse.
12) Other Issues: Sometimes other issues also can lead to unhappiness in marriage like monetary troubles or work pressures. There can also be problems from in laws or children.
In order to make a marriage succeed both husband and wife should stay emotionally connected and work towards building trust and love in the relationship.
1) Frequent Arguments and Disrespect: If there are frequent disagreements between the husband and wife it is a definite sign that all is not well in the marriage. Abusive behavior and disrespect is another sign of an unhappy marriage. Some couples even resort to constant name calling, hurtful or vulgar behavior and bringing up issues that will purposely hurt the other person. Some not only curse each other they even throw objects at each other or get violent with each other. This can also be devastating for children of the unhappy couple if any.
2) Lack of Communication: If either or one partner has stopped communicating like he or she used to earlier that is a sure sign of unhappiness in marriage. While some couples choose to get into arguments or verbal lashing some couples stop communicating and keep a distance with each other. They stop sharing their thoughts and feelings with each other and stop consulting each other about home or personal issues. Couples in unhappy marriages often busy themselves with distractions to avoid the real issues.
3) Lies or keeping Secrets from one another: When the Marriage is on rocks many couples become too secretive about their activities. For instance if the spouse leaves the room frequently for private phone conversations or switch of the phone suddenly when the partner appears in front of them it is a sign to be beware. A happy couple often talks about their plans for the future. One of the signs of an unhappy marriage is that the spouse no longer shares hopes and dreams of future with you.
4) Not Spending time with you: If your spouse suddenly has started to spend more time with friends regularly than they spend time with you it is a sign of troubles in your relationship. Your spouse may even find excuses to stay at work late just to avoid being with you. Frequent trips made by one party or both, extended working hours, more time spent separately with friends and general avoidance of the other party can all be signs of an unhappy marriage. If the Spouse suddenly develops new hobbies and prefers to spend time alone without your company it is one of the signs that your marriage is in trouble. Such a person may also display Escapism.
5) Lack of Intimacy and Affection: If either of the parties do not display signs of love or affection like hugs, kiss or compliments then the marriage has lost its spark. Many times the spouse may also indulge in comparing you with others or praising others in front of you. Many times even the hand holding is gone, the pats on the back are absent and they usually won’t be sleeping in the same bed also. Lack of intimacy is one of the most common indicators of lack of emotional connection. Though the honeymoon phase may not last forever a total disinterest or lack of intimacy with spouse may be a sign of marital discontent.
6) Drinking or Drug usage: Some people tend to think they can drown their problems by drinking or using drugs. If such a habit has started suddenly that may be a sign of an unhappy marriage.
7) Partner Infidelity : Adultery or Partner Infidelity is a clear sign that the marriage is an unhappy one. When such a thing happens it is very hard to recover from an affair because once trust is gone it does not come back fast. There are instances when the marriage is under false pretenses (like the husband is not a Gay when he is one). A cheating husband or wife is a clear indication of an unhappy marriage.Sometimes one may make a sudden change in appearance or be secretive of their phone calls and may indulge in huge credit card spending when they are cheating on their spouses apart from spending time away from home.
8) Body language: The Body language between the husband and wife can also point if the marriage is a happy or unhappy one. Bad body language and behavior between spouses can be indication of an unhappy marriage.
9) Selfishness and not caring for the needs of the Spouse: When marriage is unhappy it will appear that one spouse will be unselfish with his or her feelings. He or she will not care that their activities bother the other person or care for the other persons needs.
10) Depression and Loneliness: If any of the partners is suffering from any form of depression or is exhibiting signs of depression is clear that he or she is unhappy. He or she will get even unhappy with the marriage if they feel alone in this suffering.Some may even have stronger feelings of regret regarding a choice of partner. Many may lose or put weight in such a condition because they either eat more or eat less.
11) Falling out of Love or having unrealistic Expectations: Many enter into marriage with unrealistic expectations and when they do not get fulfilled the marriage becomes an unhappy one. There are also instances where the couple who was in love fall out of love and lose interest in the spouse.
12) Other Issues: Sometimes other issues also can lead to unhappiness in marriage like monetary troubles or work pressures. There can also be problems from in laws or children.
In order to make a marriage succeed both husband and wife should stay emotionally connected and work towards building trust and love in the relationship.
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